The Pillow Blog
On quiet nights, while the world sleeps, I often lie awake wondering why can’t I seem to fall asleep like everybody else. As if it were so easy.
Bad sketch of an awakened Vampire, 2024
There is a very common human thing in pretending that whatever one does, it is done with ease—including sleeping—and I have been trying to sleep. It is not as easy as it seems, after all. And for a person who can't seem to sleep, just imagine trying to write a blog. I must say, however, that probably someone will think I wrote this in 15 minutes while I was drinking coffee and painting with my other hand—but I did not.
So, from my sleepless point of view, many people think that things are done effortlessly, almost automatically. I have therefore chosen to write down the things I struggle with before I make a painting, to counter that idea.
Many rough sketches before the final bad sketch of the awakened Vampire.
To give some examples, I made a disorganized list of thoughts on
[01] Some things that are not seen in a finished illustration:
Pencil lines. Composition tests. The 21 previous sketches to reach the final idea. The (not so happy) mistakes. The artist’s eyes when the idea occurred to them. Color tests. What someone repeats in their head trying to convince themselves that it really is a good idea. Or maybe not. The stained paper with which the artist cleaned the brush every time before painting with it to remove excess water. The many times one has to blow out the colored pencil dust.*
*And if the artist paints with watercolor or gouache, sometimes she ends up releasing saliva without realizing it and runs her hand over the drawing to make sure nothing is left and ruins it:
(If you’re lucky, it’ll happen after you’ve scanned it.)
I know there’s no need to justify what I write, but when someone starts a blog, it becomes necessary to explain their reasons and intentions at first to try to keep you here.
One of my favorite books is The Pillow Book written by Japanese author, poet, and court lady Sei Shōnagon (清少納言). This book was like “a journal of anecdotes and observations based on her life at court” and it’s called The Pillow because she wanted “to keep the paper by her pillow for private jottings”.
Many of these jottings turned out to be lists of “Things” (Adorable Things, Things it’s frustrating and embarrassing to witness, Hateful Things, etc.)
I looove making lists and I love the way Sei Shōnagon made them. I always keep a paper close to me in case I feel like doing one or painting at any time. So I’ll try to write my own pillow book full of thoughts, learnings, experiences, and lists in this space.
Welcome and thank you again for being here!
JJ.
